This Is Where We Started

If you go to the beginning of the blog, you can see that this is the way it always was....Petie and Bella, always together.

When Bella first came home and was so sick after the first heartworm treatment, my demanding little Petie retreated and let me take care of her, without ever demanding my attention.

Petie has been there every step of the way. Bella has protected Petie.
She taught him how to tinkle on the paper. He taught her how to get excited when I came home. She didn't know anything about that. I'm sure she didn't get excited when her abuser came home wherever she was before.

Petie taught her though and pretty soon she was doing the happy dance, spinning, smiling and wagging her tail. It was Heaven.

The way I got Bella in the car was to put Petie in first and she would jump right in. If I took Bella to the vet, Petie wanted to go too and they said that they were exceptionally close. When they took Bella out to the bathroom, Petie raised all kind of hell until they took him too.

So it was good. We were all a little family and we loved each other. Bella got to know what peace, love, safety and a family were all about. She got to see what normal was and the way she deserved to be treated and loved. I did not want sweet Bella to die having known only a life of suffering. I just wasn't right and all I had to do was to see her picture in the shelter and know that she needed to be rescued. Giving her a happy life and a life full of love was my goal from day one...and we did it.

I try to hold Petie a little closer now. I don't know what he is feeling. He seems alright but I really don't know. He and Ollie both sleep in my bed now, all night. Ollie had a terrible time pulling that one off when Bella was here because she always chased him out.

Bella was a big presence and a loving presence. There is an emptyness now where she once was. It doesn't seem right that she is gone...but she is. I keep expecting her to walk through the door or come in the room. I miss her.

I'm trying to remember that quote that says...."don't cry because it's over....smile because it happened."

I'm trying not to look back but to just look inside my heart because that's where Bella is...as well as with God, someplace where I hope to be too, one day.