Toward The End

The last part of Bella's life is a blur to me. I'm not sure how many days we went through. I'd have to count them up. I tried to figure out what to do. At some point I felt that I knew what to do.

There will be days that I doubt myself, like today...but going through all of these photos today has helped me some to remember the way it really was.

You can just see how tired she was. I just couldn't ask her to keep going. We had overcome or dealt with so much.......years of abuse and neglect before we met each other, then just surviving at all by the time I got her to Dr. Heartsill, with a 60%chance of living, severe heartworms and the painful and sickening treatment that she had to go through for those, chronic respiratory problems, severe hip dysplasia, arthritis, dental disease, Erlichia, gastrointestinal pain, severe diarrhea and the one we never could figure out....chronic skin itching and then out of control lesions which I believe were caused by several different things which I will never know.

So, that is it. Bella and I loved each other. We would spend hours looking into each others eyes...just saying, I love you.

Bella had a very strong spirit. She seemed almost human to me. She was my friend and a soulmate. I really couldn't tell you where I left off and Bella began.

I grew up thinking that animals didn't go on after death...just people. I hope that isn't true. In my opinion, that would be hell.

I've heard some things that give me hope that animals do go on. I cannot imagine God creating all these wonderful animals to just let them disappear after they leave their bodies. They are more worth than we, in my opinion. So, I hope with all my heart, that I will see Bella again and can, in the next life, be in the company of animals, the way I have been in this life.

I love you sweet girl.

October 3, 2008 to August 24, 2009 - Our Time Here With Bella Rose.
Mama